Battlescars: A Rock & Roll Romance Read online

  “Please Aubrey.” He pleaded. “I actually sleep when I’m with you. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve been able to sleep like that? I can’t even remember.”

  I felt kind of bad, but I ignored him. He continued to stand there and stare at me.

  “Since you’re obviously not leaving you can sleep on the floor. If you put as much as a fingernail on my bed, you’re going to be short an appendage in the morning. I’ll make sure it’s your favorite one too!”

  He grimaced and took a pillow off the bed and went on the floor. I climbed into bed feeling dejected. I turned on my side and faced away from him. I wasn’t going to let him know he was under my skin too. He said goodnight and I tuned him out.

  Jake

  I woke up feeling ridiculously stiff from sleeping on the fucking floor. I wanted nothing more than to climb into that damn bed and wrap myself around her like an octopus. I royally fucked up last night. It started out as a tit for tat and ended with me sleeping on the floor. Any other girl that I hung around with in the past wouldn’t have bat an eyelash, even if I slept with another girl in front of them. It’s happened. Aubrey looked like she wanted to string me up by my balls. Even worse was that she looked hurt. I wanted to kick my own ass for being a dick. Then she kissed Brett! What the fuck was that shit? If it were any other girl, I would have told her to fuck off. Instead, I actually found myself wanting to kick Brett’s ass, which wouldn’t have ended well for me. Aubrey and I had our first real fight. Now we had to make up. Since we didn’t have sex, I needed to scheme up a ridiculously good plan. I wasn’t used to pursuing girls, but I knew that I was going to have to grovel and beg for forgiveness. It usually involved something shiny.

  I got dressed and tiptoed out of the room. I headed down to the lobby and assembled an array of items to try and redeem myself. Luckily, there was a gift shop attached to the lobby. I filled my arms and brought everything to the register to pay. I stopped at the front desk on my way up to put in a special room service order. I hit the button for the elevator and slowly entered the room.

  Phew, Aubrey was still sleeping soundly. I started setting up the table. I arranged the three bouquets of flowers and was getting ready to futz with the rest of the stuff when I had another idea. I quickly slipped back out and went to bang on Blake’s door. I had to knock for three minutes straight before he answered like an angry grizzly.

  “What!” He barked.

  “I need to borrow your guitar.”

  I shoved past him and grabbed it. I walked out of the room to resume my mission. I went back into our room and finished setting up. I pulled the cords to the song on my phone and memorized them lickety-split. I brushed my teeth and made sure there was no remnant of last night’s lipstick.

  Now the waiting game…

  As soon as I noticed her start to stir I started strumming on the guitar. I broke into Kings of Leon’s ‘Use Somebody’. I put my fucking soul into that song. She sat up on her pillow and watched as I poured my heart out. She didn’t even smile. I finished and put the guitar next to the chair. I picked up the flowers and took a tentative step toward the bed. She didn’t look like she was going to kill me, so I proceeded on. When I finally made it to the bed, I put the flowers on the bedside table.

  “I got these for you.” I said shyly.

  “Thanks.” She mumbled.

  “Aubrey, I’m sorry.”

  “I know. It still doesn’t make what you did right. You did prove something to me though.”

  “What, that I’m an asshole who doesn’t deserve you? I figured that out the moment I laid eyes on you. Doesn’t mean that I haven’t made it my life’s mission to prove you wrong.”

  “No. You proved that you could be selfless. Last night I know how much you wanted to climb in to bed with me. Frankly, I’m still shocked you didn’t, but you didn’t because I didn’t want you to.” She gave me a half smile.

  “Damn right I did. I just want you to be fucking happy Aubrey. I want to be the one that makes you happy. Why won’t you just let me in already, dammit?” I grumbled.

  “I’m just not there yet. After yesterday, it just reiterates the point that we need to get to know each other better. Especially, before we jump head first into something.”

  “But we’re okay?” I asked.

  “I guess.” She shrugged.

  “Can I still steal kisses?” I begged.

  “Maybe sometimes.” She shrugged again. Dammit she was killing me!

  “Can I have one now? I’m fucking dying here. I need to kiss you more than I need my next breath.”

  She nodded sheepishly.

  I didn’t need any more confirmation. I laced her hand in mine and placed my other on the side of her face. I lowered my lips to hers until our lips melded together. I got brazen and prodded my tongue against her bottom lip to make her open. Our other kisses were all closed mouth, but not today. I needed more. I swiped my tongue against hers. I explored her mouth, relishing and savoring. She let out a low moan from the back of her throat. I literally thought that I was going to cream my fucking pants. It was the single, most sexy sound that I have ever heard. I had to move slightly so that she wouldn’t see or feel how hard I was.

  I pulled back and looked at my brown-eyed girl, the girl that stole my heart. The girl I lo-, really liked. I walked over and retrieved the stuffed bear that I bought at the gift shop. There was a knock at the door. I knew that it was either room service or an extremely angry Blake. My guess was room service. The little bastard down there better not have fucked up my order. I opened the door and moved so that he could push the cart into the room. I slipped him fifty bucks and pushed him out the door. I lifted the first lid to a fluffy cheese omelet with bacon. I lifted the second lid, bingo. I brought the tray over to Aubrey and sat it down. I grabbed a fork and started feeding her bites of breakfast. When she was done, I handed her the second plate. My heart was pounding out of my chest. It was a red box from Cartier. She lifted the lid and gasped.

  “Before you start let me explain. The exceptionally charming lady in the gift shop explained what to get and why. There are three colors of gold, yellow for fidelity, white for friendship, and pink for… love. I’m falling hard Aubrey. The thought of you leaving killed me.”

  The ring was beautiful. It was a pink gold diamond-paved ring with a giant pink gem. It better be nice, since I dropped almost fifty grand on it. I also knew how much Aubrey loved pink, so I figured it was better than a diamond for now. The sun was shining through the window, and the facets were catching the light perfectly. Aubrey just stared at it like I gave her an alien.

  “Do you like it?” I inquired.

  “I love it, but I can’t keep it. It’s too much, too soon.”

  She closed the lid and handed it back to me. Shot down!

  “Why is what’s best for you always what’s worse for me?” I mumbled.

  “One day at a time.” She told me. “It was really thoughtful. I just can’t accept something like that. We’re not even dating.”

  “That’s your choice.” I reminded her.

  “I know. You go balls to the wall with everything you do, Jake. You’re passionate, and I adore that about you. Please just have some patience.” She leaned in and kissed my lips lightly.

  She threw her legs over the side of the bed and walked into the bathroom. One step forward, two steps back.

  Aubrey

  Jake was in the shower when there was a knock at the door. I looked through the peephole and saw Blake standing there. I undid the chain lock and opened the door. His blonde hair was unruly, and he was in a wrinkled t-shirt and boxers. Blake could easily get a job as a model if his music career failed. He was tall and had a classic all-American look about him. He had perfect teeth and great bone structure. He breezed past me and picked up his guitar. He looked it over and threw it over his back.

  “Morning.” He rasped.

  “Morning, Blake.” I suppressed a laugh.

  “Did you two
make up?” He cocked an eyebrow.

  “We’re fine.” I assured.

  “Good, because I can’t take him when he’s a mopey bitch. He’s never been so affected by a girl before. It’s disturbing. He’s normally all detached and whatever, but with you he’d chase you to Mars.” He grimaced.

  “I heard that, asshole.” Jake yelled from the bathroom. He walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist. “She even made me sleep on the floor.”

  Blake started cracking up.

  “We’re all going to get some food downstairs. We wanted to see if you guys wanted to join.”

  Jake looked at me, and I shrugged.

  “Yeah, okay. I have to go get some clothes from my room since there was a last minute change of plans last night.” He glared at me.

  “See you down there.” He chuckled closing the door behind him.

  I was already dressed in jeans and a hoodie. Jake grabbed my hand and tugged me out the door. He walked up to his room in nothing but a towel. We got a couple dirty looks from passerby’s on the way. When we got into his room, I stayed in the living room part while he went to get dressed. He came out in a pair of jeans and a light blue thermal that made his eyes look even more radiant. We walked hand in hand down to the bistro off the lobby. The rest of the guys were already gathered at a booth. I scooted in next to Kevin. He gave me a nod leading me to believe he already knew what happened last night after we got back to the hotel. Jake sat on my other side and ordered us a couple coffees since we already ate.

  “I heard you slept on the floor last night, Romeo.” Derek teased.

  Jake glared at Blake who shrugged mischievously. I looked at Derek who clearly found the entire thing hilarious. Derek wasn’t as tall as Jake or Blake, but he was still good looking. He had green eyes and a short black hair. He had a lip ring on the right side, and his arms were covered in tattoos. He was every bit the bad boy rock star. He noticed me starting, and I quickly looked away.

  “See something you like sweetheart? I can help you out if Mr. Celebrity isn’t cutting it in the bedroom department.” He winked.

  “I wear heels bigger than your dick, so no thanks.” I sneered trying to sound serious, than I broke into a laugh.

  “Ouch. She’s a keeper, Jake.” Derek smiled.

  “I’m working on it.” Jake miffed.

  I shrank into Jake’s shoulder. He kissed my hair and smiled at me. I was feeling conflicted after the ring episode. Things were moving way too fast. We finished our coffee and headed back to our rooms to pack up. We needed to head to the next tour stop already. Brett loaded up the car, and we headed to the airfield. We were off to Albany for the next show. I decided since it was a few days before the next show that I would go home for a couple days. I needed a chance to work things out in my head. I wasn’t going to tell Jake until we got there since I knew that he was going to flip. I went into the cockpit and told Mark my plans. He eyed me suspiciously. I knew he didn’t want to, but he made the necessary arrangements. When we landed I handed Jake his suitcase. He looked at me skeptically. Five, four, three…

  “Why don’t you have your bag?” He asked, perplexed.

  “I’m going home for a couple days? I need a break.” I said, matter of fact-ly.

  “Are you coming back?” He whispered. He looked crestfallen.

  “Yeah.” I shrugged. “I just need some space.”

  “Aubrey, please don’t leave me. I can’t take it.” He pleaded.

  “That’s exactly why I need to go.”

  “My biggest fear right now is losing you. Don’t make me face that fear, Aubrey. You have no idea how much you fucking mean to me!” He was getting emotional.

  I kissed his cheek and walked into the bathroom before he could see me breaking into tears. I was so confused. Part of me wanted to get to know him and vice versa. The other part of me wanted to run away screaming. I heard Jake yelling at Brett to fuck off. He didn’t want to leave. I made sure that my voice sounded strong before I yelled.

  “Jake, just go!”

  The noise stopped, and Mark came to knock on the door. He let me know that the coast was clear. I knew that he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut. I shrank into my seat and closed my eyes. I woke up right before we touched down in Smithville. I headed straight to the tattoo shop to see Piper. She was finishing up a piece, so I took a seat and waited for her to finish. I explained everything that happened yesterday and then this morning.

  “You need to see what everybody else sees in you Aubrey. We’re on the outside looking in. We see a smart, beautiful girl. You can’t just shut the door and run from the problems that caused your pain and insecurities. That is exactly what you’ve been doing for years. As much as you think otherwise; you’re not broken, Aubrey. ” She stood up and grabbed her bag. “Come on, we’re going to Duke’s.”

  I followed her to her car, and we headed off to Duke’s, a local hole in the wall. We sat at the bar, and I ordered a Jack & Coke. I was silently processing what Piper had said when my phone rang. I went to hit the ignore button, but Piper picked it up.

  “Hello.” She said.

  She listened for a minute before handing the phone to me. I put it to my ear.

  “Aubrey, I need you to talk to Jake. He’s being totally belligerent and won’t listen to me. I’ve been trying to reel him in since we got here, but he just keeps asking for you.” Brett begged.

  “Fine. Put him on.”

  “Aubrey.” Jake slurred.

  “Are you drunk?” I already knew my answer.

  “No, I’m buzzed. Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve got a tab a mile long. I wanna sing you a song… I wrote you a song.” He mumbled.

  “Jake.” I scolded. “Can’t you see how unhealthy this is? I said that I needed a break. I told you that I was coming back. Instead you refuse to believe me, and you go out and get drunk. Stop giving Brett a hard time!” I yelled earning a dirty look from the bartender.

  “I just feel like you pacified me to get away. I’ll take whatever you throw at me, but you’re not chasing me away. I’m here to stay baby, so bombs away.”

  “Jake, relax.” I said soothingly.

  “I can’t shut my fucking brain down. I know that I’m not going to be able to sleep because I’m gonna be worried about you until you get back. I know it sounds crazy, but the only thing I’m crazy about is you.”

  “I’ll see you in a couple days.”

  “I miss you. I’ll never ask for anyone but you.” He breathed.

  I knew that he was referring to his groupie girls. I hung up the phone and mumbled balls to the wall. Piper and I finished our drinks, and I headed home to get some sleep. I tossed and turned most of the night. I found myself worrying about Jake, and his current condition. I knew that the chances of him being up were pretty good. I pulled my phone out and texted him.

  Me: You up?

  Jake: Is that a rhetorical question?

  Me: I’ll take that as a yes. You feel any better?

  Jake: No. I can’t fucking sleep. If I knew where I was going, I would have been on a plane and in bed with you hours ago.

  Me: Don’t you realize why that might scare me a little? I get it. I have feelings for you too. There was a point in time where someone else had some pretty extreme feelings for me and it left me broken. I’m not looking for a repeat performance.

  Jake: I’d never hurt you Aubrey. I don’t know what happened, and I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready. In the meantime just try and have a little faith in me. I’m going to be on my best behavior from here on out.

  Me: We’ll see. Goodnight Jake.

  Jake: Goodnight, my sweet Aubrey. Wish you were here.

  I found myself thinking me too. I finally managed to fall asleep. I woke up and had breakfast with my mom. I walked across the street to spend some time with Granny Jean.

  “Why the long face, bran muffin?”

  “I’m just trying to work some things out in my head.” I told her, hoping th
at she would let it go.

  “Spill the beans.” She all but demanded.

  “You know we’re carting around Jake Parker.” She nodded. “He’s not at all who I thought he was, but I can’t help that he’s going to end up just like Jeremy. Granny, I can’t deal with that again. We had a fight a couple days ago, and the next morning he gave me a ridiculously expensive ring to make up for it. I’m just so confused…” I put my head in my hands.

  “Sounds to me like he genuinely likes you. I think you like him, too.” She reached over and put her hand on my head. “Honey, you have to realize that if you keep yourself in this bubble you’re never going to know, and you’ll spend the rest of your life thinking ‘what if’ and I don’t want to see that. I’m not saying to jump head first, but at least throw him a life raft.”

  “He is really balls to the wall.” As if that would change her mind.

  “Good. That’s exactly the type of person you need in your life. Go start living and quit dragging the past around like a ball and chain. Let go.” She got up from the chair and walked over to the china cabinet and pulled out the wedding photo of her and my Gramps. She placed it down in front of me. “George wasn’t the easiest person to be with. He was a schemer, always trying to come up with the next best thing. He was also the most passionate man I ever met. I didn’t fall in love with him right away either, but looking back I’m so glad that I did. Maybe Jake will be your Gramps.”

  It made sense when she put it that way. I carried around my scars like the plague and used them to push people away. I never took the opportunity to let anyone in. Maybe the fact that Jake could touch me wasn’t a fluke thing. Maybe we were meant to cross paths. I decided that I had enough time at home. I called Mark and told him to meet me at the airport. I had a quick visit with my dad while I waited for him to show up. Before long we were airborne and on our way back to Albany. We grabbed a cab and made our way to the Lockwood Hotel. I went to reception and asked for Jake’s room. The girl behind the counter scoffed at me. I didn’t want Jake to know that I was there and if I called he would know. Instead, I called Kevin since we swapped numbers the other night. He told me that he was coming right down. Mark checked in and had already gone off to the hotel bar.