Battlescars: A Rock & Roll Romance Read online

  “Boy, are we glad to see you!” Blake yelled across the lobby.

  I laughed when I saw that they all came down.

  “He’s been a miserable asshole since the other day.” Derek chimed in. “Wait, was that just yesterday?” He rubbed his head.

  “Come on.” Kevin said walking up to the counter. “I need a key to room 501.”

  The girl reluctantly gave him the card.

  “You better hope that she doesn’t mention this, because if she does you’re going to be out of a job.” Blake told her. “She’s Jake’s inamorata.”

  She looked at me with pure disgust.

  “She’s just pissed because she auditioned for me last night and didn’t get a call back.” Derek said. “Isn’t that right, sweet cheeks? She was pining for Jake, but he just whined all night about how much he missed his precious Bellissimo.”

  I smiled slightly and headed over to the elevator. He wasn’t expecting me for another two days, so I was hoping to surprise him. I walked down the hallway and stuck the key card into the door. I took a deep breath and pushed the handle down. Brett was standing there in full on defense mode until he saw me.

  “Thank fuck!” He whisper yelled and threw his hands in the air. I laughed.

  “Was he really that bad?” I teased.

  “You have no idea. I was literally contemplating kidnapping.” He joked.

  I put my suitcase down and headed back to the bedroom and knocked.

  “Go away!” He yelled.

  I pushed down the handle, but it was locked. I knocked again.

  “What!” He screamed opening the door. He was looking over my head. As soon as he looked down and saw me standing there he threw me over his shoulder and kicked the door shut. He gently tossed me onto the bed and crawled on top of me. I wrapped my arms around him. He crashed his lips to mine and kissed me at a frenzied pace. He pulled away and looked at me intently.

  “God, I fucking missed you, baby.”

  “Don’t hurt me again, Jake. If you do, it will be the last time.”

  “I won’t. I promise. You’re going to mistake me for a saint.”

  “I don’t want a saint. I just want you to be Jake Parker.”

  “Baby steps.” He whispered into my hair.

  I nodded.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  A Step In The Right Direction

  One Month Later…

  Jake

  I’ve spent the last month being Saint Jake. I’ve crossed my t’s and dotted my i’s. I haven’t stepped as much as a toe out of line. Things with Aubrey were going pretty good. We were getting extremely close. She still refused to let me in, but I felt like she was at the point that she was ready. I formulated another master plan for the show tonight. I left her to get ready and checked in with Blake.

  “Hello shithead.” Blake answered.

  “Hey turdface. Were you able to work something out with what I gave you?”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty good. Derek’s working on putting the finishing touches on it now.”

  “Thanks, fucker. I owe you!”

  “Yeah, you do. When did you turn into such a pansy-ass? Aubrey’s it, huh?”

  “I guess you could say that. She’s just not like the other girls. You know that she doesn’t expect shit from me. She doesn’t care about the money or the fame. She likes me for me. And when I do something to piss her off, she slaps me and rolls her eyes. It’s so fucking hot!”

  “You’re glutton for punishment, bro.” He laughed.

  “Whatever. You’re just jealous.” I teased.

  “Maybe you’re right. See you in a bit.”

  “Thanks again, Blake. I mean it.”

  “Jeez, do you have your period? Don’t go getting all sentimental on me. We’re best friends, it’s what we’re supposed to do. Now go get ready and I’ll see you in an hour.”

  “Bye asshole.”

  I hung up and walked back into the room. Aubrey was in a black dress and a pair of black strappy shoes. She looked hot as hell. We headed off to do the sound check. I picked up the mic and started singing Justin Bieber’s, ‘Baby’. Everything sounded good, so we went to hang backstage until show time. I was suddenly nervous. Thankfully, the time flew by, and we were up. I kissed Aubrey and waltzed onto stage.

  “BALTIMORE!!!” I yelled into the mic. “We’re going to do something a little different here tonight. I wrote a new song, and I want to know what you guys think.”

  They went wild.

  Kevin walked to the front of the stage and handed me over one of his guitars. I strapped it over my shoulder and started playing a couple cords. Derek started tapping on the drums. I started humming softly before looking at Aubrey. Here goes nothing…

  “Please Aubrey… let me in, you shot me down, yet again,

  It’s chaos everywhere I go, I know, they won’t leave us alone,

  You’re my little piece of heaven, the dream I never want to escape,

  How I wish we could ride into the sunset, but I’ll take what I can get,

  I’ll cross my T’s and dot my I’s until you see that you’re the girl for me

  All I really want is you… Aubrey

  Let me in…”

  I handed the guitar back to Kevin and smiled at Aubrey. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Score!

  “I know it wasn’t great.” I laughed. “Since my life is pretty much an open book I figured that I would share this with you. I know that there are a lot of discrepancies of whether or not love at first sight exists. I always thought that it was a crock of shit until I met this girl. Now, I’m a believer. I love you Aubrey, and I promise to spend every minute proving it to you.”

  The crowd was chanting her name. It was the first time that I actually wanted to rush a show. I wanted to get off stage and see if my hard work paid off. Her eyes were glued to me for the rest of the show. When we finished out the set, I practically sprinted off the stage. I grabbed her and threw her over my shoulder. I ran into an empty dressing room and sat her on the table. I crashed my lips to hers and practically devoured her. She kissed me back with equal passion. I pulled away and looked at her. I was completely enamored.

  “Did you like your song?” She nodded shyly. “I meant every word, Aubrey.”

  “I know.” She whispered.

  Aubrey

  There was nothing going on after the show tonight, so we all headed back to the hotel. Everyone said goodnight and headed to their respective rooms. Once Jake closed the door I tugged on his hand. I told him that I wanted to shower but that I needed to talk to him after. I grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom. I gave myself a pep talk the entire time. It was time, and his song just reinforced it even more. I needed to let him in. He’s been working so hard the last month to try and prove that he was good enough for me. If he only knew, I was the one that felt like I didn’t measure up. I took my time getting dressed and walked into the bedroom. Jake said that he wanted to shower, too. I wondered how I should go about telling him. Do I just spit it out? Do I ease into it? I’ve never been close enough with anybody since it happened to have this discussion. I was nervously pacing the floor when he came back into the room in his boxers with a puzzled look on his face. I looked at him and decided to throw all my cards in.

  “Jake, I’m going to talk to you about a couple things. I want you to promise that you won’t judge me. Please.” I begged. My biggest fear was rejection. I felt like damaged goods and was worried that once he knew what happened that he wouldn’t want me anymore.

  “Aubrey, I don’t judge. I’m listening.” He looked at me incredulously.

  “I’m worried that you’re going to be repulsed by me.” I said sadly.

  “Seriously, do you have any idea how sexy you are? I feel like a fucking teenager again. Every time you as much as smile I’m sporting a semi. When you roll your eyes, forget about it!” He lifted me so that I was sitting on his lap. “What’s really going on, Aubrey? I know there’s more to it. Help me understand.�
�� He pleaded.

  I felt myself start to tear up. I lifted his hand to my chest and ran his fingertips over my tattoo. I knew that he could feel the raised lines under the ink. They were concealed so well you can barely notice them, unless I pointed it out. Something I’ve never done before. I was about to sever myself wide open for him.

  “There’s a reason for this tattoo. It was my first. I got it to cover something ugly. Can you feel them?”

  “Are they scars?” His hand started trembling. His eyes were thick with emotion. I nodded and tried to hold it together.

  “Yes, I have more. The others aren’t nearly as bad. Some of them you can barely even make out anymore.”

  “How did you get them?” He inquired.

  Here goes nothing…

  “I was attacked by my ex-boyfriend. Je-.” He quickly put his finger to my lip.

  “I know his name, you don’t need to say it.” He whispered and pulled me closer.

  “I was almost eighteen when it happened. My parents were away for the weekend, and he convinced me to stay at his apartment. I was a naive teenager, so of course I said yes. When I got there, he was strung out. Unbeknownst to me, he was on meth at the time. I didn’t even know that he started taking it. I tried to leave, but he wouldn’t let me. He snapped… He beat the hell out of me because I refused have sex with him. I was in and out of consciousness, but it was more brutal than sexual. It went on for over six hours until his roommate came home and called the cops. He went to jail for a measly two years. He claims that he doesn’t even remember any of it, but I call bullshit. He’s tried to contact me a couple times since, even though I have a restraining order. Hence, why I was so upset when I got that message in New York. Every time I see his name the pain comes to the surface. It’s almost as if it’s happening all over again.”

  I stood up and slid my pants down below my hips. I sucked in a shaky breath. I had to keep going if I was going to put it all out there.

  “These stars are to cover up the x’s that he carved into my skin. These were the deepest.”

  I pointed to the nautical stars that I had tattooed on each of my hipbones. I remembered the knife digging into my flesh before passing out. The scars were still somewhat visible but were less noticeable because of the tattoos. Jake looked distraught. He reached a tentative hand out.

  “Can I touch you?” He stuttered.

  I nodded. He reached his hand out slowly and ran it over the scars. I flinched involuntarily, and he pulled back. I grabbed his hand and put it back on my hip. We shared an intense stare between us. In that moment, there was no one else in the world. It was just Jake and I. He didn’t go running for the hills either. He broke the stare and looked down at his hand.

  “So you took something tragic and turned it into something beautiful. With the tattoos, I mean.”

  “I guess that’s how I see it. I did it so that I could see beauty instead of pain. ”

  “That’s really valiant. It helps me understand better. I want to know you Aubrey, all of you, not just the good. Thanks for sharing this with me. I know it’s really difficult.” He said sincerely.

  “My Granny always says, ‘women are like angels, when someone breaks our wings we continue to fly around on our broomsticks because we’re flexible like that.’ It doesn’t define me. Except, ever since it happened I have a really difficult time around guys. Most people other than my family can’t even touch me. I’ve always been sarcastic and kind of a hard ass, but after that I became frigid. Until you…”

  I leaned forward so that we were nose to nose and kissed him. I kissed him the way that I’ve wanted to be kissed for the last four years. He pulled me closer and wrapped my legs around his waist. I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck as he ran one hand through my hair and wrapped the other around my waist. I kissed him until spots blurred my vision. I lightly bit down on his spider bite piercings and pulled away. We held onto each other. I felt safe.

  “I’m ready to fall if you’re the one I fall into.” I whispered.

  “Does that mean you’ll finally agree to be my girlfriend?”

  “I’ll try.”

  He moved so that I was sitting on the bed and walked over to his backpack. He tossed a couple things over his shoulder until he pulled out a red box. He came back over to me and dropped to one knee. He opened the lid.

  “Aubrey Thompson, will you please be my girlfriend?”

  “Yes.” I laughed.

  “Thank God!” He kissed me and slid the ring onto my finger.

  The tabloids were going to have a field day.

  “I know we’ve talked a little bit, but you should know that I’m really inexperienced. I mean I did some things with Jeremy before the incident, but I’ve never…”

  “It’s okay. I get it. I haven’t had sex in over a year. Waiting a little longer won’t kill me. If, and when, you’re ready we’ll talk about it. There’s no timeframe here.”

  “You haven’t had sex in over a year?” I asked completely flabbergasted. It never came up before.

  “Is that the only thing you took from what I just said?” He teased. “No, I haven’t. I already told you that I’m not the man whore the press portrays me as. I even had a physical as soon as I got back from Europe. I’m completely clean. I mostly did it because I was overseas, and there’s some weird shit over there. Anyway, enough talk about negative shit. I wanna see the rest of your ink. Who did it? It’s really good.”

  “Actually, Piper did. She’s really artsy and started working at a shop as soon as she turned eighteen. She’s really talented.”

  I got to work showing him my ink. I showed him the cute little owl on my ankle. I lifted my foot and showed him the one on my instep. Hell on Heels. I lifted up my tank top and showed him the one I had down my side of a cherry blossom stem. My last one was a quote across my ribcage.

  Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.

  “I don’t know if I’ll be able to get over what happened, or the scars I wear because of it, but maybe in time, who knows. My turn.”

  “We’re going to rewrite the pages in our own words. Starting with one day at a time.” He smiled.

  Over the past month I’ve been keeping him at arm’s length and I genuinely wanted to get a closer look at his tattoos. I pounced on him, and he laughed. I brazenly pushed Jake back on the bed. I finally took a chance to look over all his ink. Across his sternum said, “live free, die worthy.” He had nautical stars too, one on either side on his shoulder blades. He had full sleeves on both arms filled with vintage artwork. They were extremely intricate and done in black and fade. Piper would die from excitement if she got to see them. I rolled him over and looked at his back. It looked like a gothic painting. He said it was a rendition of Hades. In gothic script, it read, stuck between the burning light and the dusty shade. It was exquisitely done and must have taken hours, upon hours. It reminded me of my own quote, it’s always darkest before the dawn. He turned over and put his hand on my lower back rubbing the dermal piercings in my dimples.

  “Do you have any more piercings?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

  “I don’t. Do you?” He turned bright red. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  Since I couldn’t see them, I could only envision where they were…

  They must have hurt!

  “Maybe I’ll show you one day, but right now I just want to snuggle.”

  He pulled me next to him so that we were nose to nose again. I was in bed with my boyfriend Jake Parker. It was surreal.

  “Are you ready for Pittsburgh?” He asked.

  “Yeah, I’ve been there before though. It’s only about two hours from where I live.”

  “It is? The show isn’t for five days. Do you want to go home? You can introduce your folks to your new boyfriend.” He grinned.

  “Are you sure you’re ready for that? I mean we’ve officially been a couple for a half hour.” I teased.

  “Only if you want to. It would give
me a chance to send Brett home for a couple days too.”

  “Okay. We’ll go home and meet the folks.” He kissed me lightly.

  I kissed him back relishing in the feeling of truly being kissed. It was like Jake was waking a part of me that had been dormant. He was a live wire to my system. He pulled back and smiled contentedly. Jake was respectful and as much as he loved pushing my buttons, he was a gentleman. He opened doors and had manners that would make my mom proud. I ran my fingers through his hair. I knew that I would have to call my dad and tell him to be on his best behavior tomorrow when we arrived. He could be such a smart ass sometimes. I guess the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. I turned and curled into Jake and closed my eyes.

  The alarm went off at eight, and we were set to takeoff at eleven. Jake jumped in the shower, and I seized the opportunity to call my dad. I was not a morning person, so getting a call from me this early must have been a hoot.

  “Morning, Aubrey Bean.” He chuckled.

  “Daddy!” I beamed. “I have some exciting news. I’m coming home for a couple days before the next show.”

  “Really? That’s great. I miss that pretty mug of yours.”

  “I need to talk to you about something else too… I’m bringing someone with me.”

  “Okay?” He said skeptically.

  “Jake Parker. Before you get started, you should know that I really like him. I already told him exactly what happened. He understands and would never push me to do something that I didn’t want to. But, he can touch me without me having a meltdown. It’s very bizarre. Please just try and be nice to him.” I begged.

  My mom and Granny already knew about the Jake situation, but I withheld the information from my dad. He was very overprotective since the incident happened.

  “I’ll see what I can do.” He huffed.

  “Thanks, Daddy. I’ll see you in a little while then.”

  I called Mark and had him schedule a flight change so that we could just go straight back to Ohio. Jake called and booked Brett a ticket home. He was going to give it to him as a surprise when he came to check in this morning. It was really expensive, over three thousand dollars for a four-day drip, two of them travel days. Jake said that he wouldn’t care if it were ten thousand dollars. He wanted Brett to see Kayley. I thought it was incredibly sweet.