I Won't Give Up Read online

  “Creep.” She teased. “Let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

  We got into my bed and I held my arm out for her to come snuggle. She laid her head on my chest and put her leg over my legs and I was hoping she didn’t notice that I’d gotten excited again. I was totally going to sleep with the pillow she had her head on from now on. I wrapped my arm around her pulling her as close as I could get her. It felt like she’d belonged there, like she was made for me. I was definitely going to need a cold shower in the morning

  “Hey can I see a picture of your mom?” She sounded embarrassed.

  “Sure.” I reached into my end table and pulled out the album that she’d made for me when she first found out she was sick. It was a collaboration of all of her favorite photos. She looked over each one intently, I explained each picture as she flipped through. I enjoyed letting her see a piece of me that I didn’t share. I was watching her face when I noticed her eyes brim with tears.

  “I’m so sorry Cooper.”

  She was so sweet she never thought of herself she always thought of everyone else.

  She leaned her head up and kissed me softly.

  “Don’t be sad Fiona. Just you being here makes me feel better so thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” I wrapped her in my arms until she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. I stayed up watching her sleep for a little while before the battle of the heavy lids finally won.

  I woke up before her and took my ice cold shower. I got dressed and headed to the kitchen to make her breakfast in bed, looks like dad had already left for work. I cut up some fruit and made her a bowl of fruit salad and some toast with butter and jelly like my mom used to make for me. I poured us each a cup of coffee before heading back to my room. When she saw me with the tray her whole face lit up. I’d literally sell my soul to see her smile like that everyday.

  “Um don’t get super pissed but my dad left for work already so we’re going to have to take my bike to your house.” I braced myself for her reaction.

  “Okay.” I was surprised she didn’t vehemently argue with me like normal. She walked over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of my boxers rolling them up like shorts but not before I caught a glimpse of her panties then she put her boots on. Christ I’m going to have to take care of business again.

  I handed her a helmet, her helmet that I bought for her hoping that she’d like to start taking rides here and there but as far as she knew it was just an extra. She was the only one I ever wanted on the back. She climbed on the back and wrapped her arms around me. I revved the bike to life and headed towards her house. I turned the bike off and helped her climb off not wanting her to burn herself on the exhaust since she didn’t have pants on.

  “Thanks for last night.” I said happy that she’d stayed.

  “You don’t need to keep thanking me.” She smiled.

  “I’ll wait here. We can race to school.” She jabbed at my ribs causing me to laugh. She was playful today. She’s never playful. The thought excited me, maybe she would finally give me the chance. I’d planned on talking to her at dinner tonight and feeling her out.

  “You can come in.” I followed her to her room. “I’m gonna shower quick.”

  What I wouldn’t do to be in that shower right now. I mentally slapped myself telling “little Cooper” to stop being a pervert, he could probably bend steel right now. After she was done she came back into her bedroom in a towel and ordered me to turn around again. I felt her little hands cover my eyes; she really is playful today. She ordered me to turn around and placed a tiny silver box in my hands. She looked so beautiful today.

  “What’s this?” I asked curious why she got me a present.

  “Just open it.” I opened it carefully. It was a mini version of my bike. I’d never seen one before. I remembered when I took her out last week on it. I took her on a bunch of back roads that I’d found since I’d moved here then we stopped and had lunch by the river. I think she secretly liked it but I don’t think I’d get her to admit it just yet.

  “This is so cool. It looks just like mine. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Ready to go?” We headed to her car. I handed her helmet to her, she put in the trunk.

  “Start at the end of the driveway?” She teased. Our race she had me so distracted I almost forgot. We lined up and took off heading towards school. I didn’t even shift through the gears like I could have because frankly her safety was more important than winning even though she was surprisingly a really good driver. She said her dad had arranged lessons with some ex-NASCAR guy before she got her license. As we got closer to school I quickly squeezed between a couple cars before pulling into the parking lot. It was the best morning I could ever imagine plus it was Wednesday, our date night. I looked forward to them all week. I knew she tried to think of them as anything else but I had a feeling I was finally getting through to her. The day was going incredibly slow.

  “Hey Crash.” I said walking up next to her at lunch.

  “Cooper.” She smiled slightly but it was genuine. Yes, I could tell the difference.

  “Where are we doing dinner tonight?” I always let her choose what she wanted to do then I’d do my best to make it special.

  “Chucks?” Again. My little munchkin was addicted to that place. I just took her there on Sunday.

  “Sure. You’ll pick me up at the regular time?” She always had to drive since she didn’t like to get on the bike. I was trying to get her to change her mind about it but she was still apprehensive and I just wanted her to feel safe. Going out and buying a car was getting more and more tempting. My dad had offered a few times to get me one maybe I should take him up on the offer.

  “Yep. See you at six.” The rest of the day dragged. I couldn’t wait to see her again. Tabitha was in my last class of the day, chemistry, too bad she didn’t see that we didn’t have any chemistry. She was annoying me, she didn’t understand why I didn’t want to hang out with her, I guess no one told her that throwing yourself at someone usually has the opposite effect and her clothes left nothing to the imagination. I blew her off telling her Fiona and I were an item because as far as I was concerned we were. She huffed away going to sit by Nate. When the final bell rang I practically skipped to my bike like a love-struck fool. I texted my dad reminding him that it was date night. He was good in the fact that he gave me space and let me make most of my decisions. While I was waiting for her to arrive I cleaned the house, I even vacuumed. Finally it was ten of, I decided to go sit on the porch and wait for her. She was grinning when she pulled up.

  “You wanna drive tonight?” She said tossing me the keys. She looked happier than I’d ever seen her, relaxed even. Today was shaping up to be the best day ever.

  “Really?” I was shocked but frankly I’d been dying to drive this car.

  “Yeah, I was actually thinking maybe we could head somewhere out of town tonight and ditch tomorrow? ” Out of town? Ditch? I was glad to be anywhere she was.

  “What did you have in mind?” I asked curious.

  “Honestly I have no idea, I guess wherever the road takes us. Go pack.” It sounded so cliché. We broke out laughing.

  “Alright let me just grab a bag quick.” I ran inside taking the stairs two at a time. I grabbed the first bag I could find and stuffed a few things in it then headed out small duffel in tow. I quickly threw it in the back and climbed into the driver’s side adjusting the seat and mirrors. I backed out of the driveway and lightly tapped the gas, the car flew forward. Holy shit this is awesome! Once I got the hang of how sensitive the car was it drove like a dream. Fiona sat next to me giggling like a crazy person.

  We drove for about three hours away before we ended up somewhere near Levittville. It was some rinky-dink town I’d never heard of in the middle of nowhere, it looked like it was stuck in the 1950’s. They had a little drive-in theater so we decided that would be our first stop, we pulled in and there was only one other car there besides us. She seemed really deep
in thought about something but I decided not to pry since she didn’t seem upset. I took her hand in mine and watched the movie wishing she’s initiate a make-out session.

  “Where to now?” I asked when it ended.

  “How about a bar?” She asked nervously.

  “A bar? I’m not sure that’s such a great idea, remember last time you drank with me?” That was the night I first kissed her, the night I knew I had to make her mine. I replayed that kiss in my head at least ten times a day.

  “Oh it will be fine, just one drink then we can go.” She pleaded making the cutest puppy-dog face I’d ever seen and I couldn’t resist. She was so beautiful and my resistance to do anything that made her happy was pretty much non-existent, I’d made it my life’s mission to make her happy.

  “One.” I held up my finger trying to sound firm. I’d do anything to see her smile like that. She clapped my hands as I started towards the bar. I parked the car and went to open her door, offering her my arm. I opened the door and the smell of smoke and booze hit me, bringing memories to the surface that I quickly squashed back down. I took a quick look around trying to look inconspicuous about it. Fiona grabbed my hand and pulled towards the bar. She ordered us a each a beer and placed a twenty down. I watched as she walked her perfect derriere over to the jukebox. Damn. She sashayed back to me looking sexy as hell and relaxed. I wish she could be like this all the time.

  “Dance with me.” She pulled me off the bar stool, we headed to the tiny dance floor. As soon as we were on the floor I pulled her into a slow dance to Patsy Cline’s I Fall to Pieces. How apt. I sang the song softly in her ear. Everything lyric was true.

  I fall to pieces each time I see you again

  I fall to pieces, how can I be just your friend

  You want me to act like we've never kissed

  You want me to forget, pretend we've never met

  And I've tried and I've tried but I haven't yet

  You walk by and I fall to pieces

  I fall to pieces each time someone speaks your name

  I fall to pieces time only adds to the flame

  You tell me to find someone else to love

  Someone who’ll love me too, the way you used to

  But each time I go out with someone new

  You walk by and I fall to pieces

  She climbed onto her tippy toes and planted a soft kiss on my cheek making my stomach flutter. Wow I’m smitten. I dipped her backwards and leaned in brushing my lips over hers relishing in the feeling. When the song was done we headed back to the bar, I pulled her onto my lap not giving her a chance to refuse but surprisingly she went along with it. She was so carefree tonight I wished she could be like this more often. I wondered if she was like this before all the shit happened and she turned defensive in order to protect herself.

  “You know you could do much better than me.” What! Did she really just say that?

  “You can’t perfect perfection Fiona.” She was perfect and I wanted nothing more than to marry this girl one day. I know it sounds crazy being just eighteen but it’s just something I felt from the first time I saw her. I kissed her cheek. Pleading with her to just let me in.

  We were joking around and laughing when some guy that looked like he was in his early twenties sauntered up to her.

  “Why does it feel like you’re the most beautiful girl in the room?” He asked.

  “Because she is.” I said. No one here could even come close to her beauty.

  “Mmm. That she is. How ‘bout a dance there sugar.” He crooned. Not tonight, please.

  “No thanks.” She said. He reached towards her and tried pulling her off my lap. Not happening asshole! I tightened my hold on her.

  The guy growled.

  “Listen buddy if you’re gonna bark you’d better have some bite.”

  I said, hoping he would take the hint. The guy raised his hand again. I stood quickly carefully sliding Fiona onto the barstool. He puffed his chest up looking for a fight but I wasn’t even going to let it get to that point.

  “You’re about to need a good friend tonight.” Without any apprehension I punched him in the face, which resulted in a very satisfying crack. Blood came streaming out of his nose. I turned to Fiona who was sitting there with her mouth gaping.

  “Time to call it a night.” I picked her up bridal style and carried her to the car. I was worried I’d upset her.

  “You okay?” I asked soothingly.

  “I’m fine.” She didn’t seem angry. “It’s late. I think we should just get some take out and maybe get a motel room for the night?” I brought my hand to her face and brushed the hair away from her eyes. Now I was confused one. I thought maybe she’d stay at my house again or maybe I’d stay at hers but a hotel never even entered my mind.

  “Fiona, what brought this on? For over a month I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to get you to do just about anything and now all the sudden we’re in the middle of nowhere and now you want to stay the night?” As much as the offer sounded irresistible I wanted to make sure that she wanted this, that she felt safe that was the only thing that was important to me.

  “I’m just really tired.” She said. I was still confused but I was going to do whatever she wanted. I drove across town and parked at the motel. She went to get the room while I went to get our takeout. I ordered her chicken soup and a grilled cheese and buffalo wings. She loved those things, they became our thing ever since The Barn. She came into the diner a couple minutes later looking flushed despite the drop in temperature. She stood next to me when I noticed her shiver. I walked to stand behind her, I wrapped my arms around her, smelling her hair, it smelled like vanilla and cinnamon. The waitress handed me our order and we walked across the parking lot to the motel room. She unlocked the door. I turned on the light and was shocked to see there was only one bed. I knew we slept together in my bed but I figured if she was given an option that she would have chosen a double.

  “There’s only one bed in here.” I said hoping she’d offer some insight.

  “I know.” She winked at me. After we ate she went into the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. I stripped down to my boxers and decided to watch some television. I saw her come into the room out of the corner of my eye, she was in just her towel. I looked over slightly hoping she wouldn’t notice me peeking. She let the towel drop. Holy shit! She’s perfection, a fucking angel.

  “Oops.” She said not making it seem like it was an accident at all.

  “Fiona, what are you doing?” I managed to say somewhat coherently.

  She sexily walked over to the bed and straddled my lap. Shit she was so hot. I rubbed my hands up and down her side just wanting to touch her flawless skin. I was letting her take the lead with this I would do anything she wanted. She lowered her mouth to mine, stroking her tongue on my lips, I opened and our tongues met, caressing. Man, little Cooper was making his presence known. I was slightly embarrassed. I know she felt it and she started rubbing her stomach against mine making a delicious friction. I used my hand to brush her damp hair off her face.

  “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen Fiona. I mean it.” I said sincerely. I moved her so she was on her back. I was going to embarrass myself if she kept rubbing on me like that. My little fantasies didn’t do her justice. “I want to explore every inch of you, starting here.” I lifted her foot and ran my tongue up the side. Making sure to do everything slow as possible so she could tell me to stop if she didn’t like anything and so I could find the spots that were sensitive. I savored every inch of her with adoration that she trusted me. I was so in love with her. When she came around my tongue I lifted my head she looked lustful, like she wanted to go all the way.

  “Um, I wasn’t expecting this… I don’t have anything.” I said shyly hopefully not misreading her.

  “Are you clean?” She asked. I nodded, yearning to be inside her. I’d never been without a condom and my history wasn’t anything that I would have to be concerned. “Me to
o. I’m on the pill.” It’s really going to happen.

  “You’re sure it’s okay? I’m fine with what we just did, that was perfect, more than perfect.” I’d need a cold shower but I was really fine with that. I didn’t want her doing anything she didn’t want.

  “I need you Cooper, I need you to love me.” Tears started pooling in her eyes. She didn’t have to say anymore. I slowly sank into her, trying to maintain control. I never knew it could be like this. She felt so good. I rocked slowly in and out and tried to show her how much I loved her with my body since I knew she would freak out if I said the words out loud. I looked in her beautiful blue eyes the whole time, kissing her face, her amazing lips, savoring her. I felt her body tighten and I couldn’t hold out any longer, I thought about pulling out but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Frankly even if her pill failed I knew that she was the one I wanted to spend my life with. I pulled her into a deep kiss and felt her tighten and let go once more before I pulled out already missing the feel of her and moved her close to my side. She put her head on my chest and I ran my fingers through her hair until she fell asleep. I stayed up and watched her sleep, her little face scrunching up from time to time and she made the cutest little sounds. Fiona was amazing and I was so relieved that she finally gave me the opportunity I desperately desired. Finally the day caught up with me and I closed my eyes.

  When I woke up she was laying across my chest running her fingers around my tattoos. We made love in the shower; I would never get enough of her. We dressed quickly and headed to the diner for breakfast. Walking hand in hand to the car we started the drive home.

  “I don’t know why you changed your mind but that was the best night of my life.” I was so happy I’m surprised I didn’t burst. She just shrugged her shoulders, and smiled sweetly. When we pulled into my driveway I got out as she was walking to the driver’s side I snuck up behind her and picked her up making her giggle.