Afflicted Read online

  What more could a girl want?

  Sure we were in different states right now, but that wouldn’t last forever. I went into the room and flopped on the bed. Jake cocked an eyebrow. That was his way of asking me if everything was okay. I gave a chin nod, letting him know that I was fine and quietly continued my internal struggle. Maybe I could see about flying her out to one of our shows…

  The next morning we grabbed some pastries from the so-called continental breakfast and headed to the van. After checking to make sure nothing was stolen, I agreed to drive first because at least it would help me occupy my mind. When we stopped in Kansas to get gas Jake offered to take over, but I declined and kept going. We made it all the way to Indiana before we called it a day. Tomorrow we would make it to our first stop at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ.

  ~

  Pulling up to The Stone Pony we were greeted with the smell of the salty ocean off in the distance. A line of concertgoers was already stretched along the side of the building. Unfortunately, we only had an hour to set up and get ready to go on due to the insane amount of traffic that we hit on the way here. To think that I thought LA was crowded. We started unloading equipment and rolling it in through the back door. After grabbing a couple cardboard boxes filled with CD’s and t-shirts to sell at the merch table post-show, we were finally finished with fifteen minutes to spare. Crashing Down was already inside and all set up thanks to their roadies.

  Dylan had a girl on either side of him, and he was undoubtedly getting laid by both of them tonight. I felt almost like an intruder to their pre-orgy. After getting everything set up the guys and I took a seat before they came to let us know that it was time to go on.

  We stepped through the door and walked the narrow hallway before stepping up on to the stage. This was it, our first big gig. I strapped my bass on, and Jake stepped up to the mic. Derek tapped on the drums a couple of times, and Kevin strummed the neck of his guitar. I looked out at the rowdy crowd and felt adrenaline course through my veins.

  “New Jersey! How you folks doing tonight?” Jake asked.

  We were met with a less than unenthusiastic answer.

  “Alrighty then…we’re Battlescars, and we’re going to rock your world tonight!” Jake yelled.

  We started with our first song ‘Hurricane.’ We nailed it, it was like we’ve been doing it for years. By the time we were getting ready to wrap up the set the crowd was seriously into it. It was going to be an uphill battle being the opener, but with any luck we would end up building our own fan base.

  We finished out our set and Jake bid the crowd goodnight. I was still feeling the high from the adrenaline. We walked over and retrieved our measly two cardboard boxes and went to sit along the wall at our table. We weren’t even finished setting up when people started lining up. Before too long, we had a long line. We were selling our CD’s for five bucks and our shirts for ten.

  By the end of the show, we were entirely sold out. It was a good thing, but we would need to find a way to get more, and fast. We loaded up our equipment into the van and headed off to the next venue in Allentown, Pennsylvania where we would be playing Crocodile Rock. After arriving at the hotel and checking in I headed right to the shower and got ready for bed. Jake did the same, and before long exhaustion hit us and we both passed out.

  The next three weeks of shows pretty much went the same. Drive, eat, play the show, sleep and do it all over again. Derek was already sucked into the lifestyle, and anytime he could use it to pick up a girl he did. Jake was dabbling more and more too. Kevin could care less because that wasn’t his scene and it made me feel a little less lonely.

  Standing outside the hotel room I was sharing with Jake, I tried calling Rowan again and got her voicemail. We’ve been playing phone tag all week, but in three days we would be in Arizona and I planned on surprising her. I missed her like crazy, but being on the tour was better than I could have ever imagined. It was almost dreamlike to be here. There was loud moaning coming from the room, and I hoped that Jake would be quick because I was exhausted and didn’t seriously need to listen to them getting their rocks off all night.

  I pulled out my headphones and turned the volume up heading into the room with blinders on. Nirvana came on, and I couldn’t help but smile.

  I remembered being an eleven-year old kid sitting in front of the TV watching Nirvana Unplugged in New York on MTV. I was absolutely mesmerized and thought Kurt Cobain was the coolest person on the face of the earth. I wanted to be just like him. I started dressing in flannel shirts. Mind you that we lived in Arizona, and they weren’t easy to come by. I grew my hair out and even convinced my mom to let me get blonde highlights. She drew the line at eyeliner, but I’ve been known to go in her make-up bag and steal some from time to time.

  It was at that time when I truly fell in love with music. I used to get up every Saturday morning and watch the new videos. I envied them. After thinking long and hard, I decided that I wanted to play bass. I finally saved up enough money from doing chores around the neighborhood to buy my first bass guitar. I was a natural, or so the instructor told me. His name was Fred, and he even offered me free lessons. I’ve been playing ever since. It was my true passion.

  In high school, a couple of my friends and I would jam out in their garages or basements, that’s when I met Jake. We’ve been best friends ever since. I knew that I wanted to figure out how to turn my passion into a career. Not knowing then how difficult it was going to find a balance in it all. My friendships, family, relationships and life were all suffering. I almost wanted to toss in the towel and go back home, almost.

  I pulled a pillow over my head and closed my eyes.

  When I woke up in the morning, Jake was just coming out of the shower. I swear he never sleeps. The girl was gone, which didn’t come as a surprise to me. He’d screw ‘em and toss ‘em. I rolled out of bed and went to take a piss. We were set to play in Texas tonight and New Mexico tomorrow. Then we would be in Arizona. I didn’t tell Rowan that we were going to be there early since I wanted to surprise her. I already made reservations at our favorite restaurant The Melting Pot.

  Throwing my clothes on I went to see if I could scrounge up something for breakfast. I grabbed my backpack and headed to the lobby managing to find a donut and some cookies left in the lounge area. I ate the donut and wrapped the cookies in a napkin for later. I plopped in a chair and waited for the rest of the guys to come down.

  We hopped in the van and got onto Interstate 40 headed to Amarillo, Texas. We drove for five hours until we arrived at Polly’s Pub with an hour to set up. We would spend at least forty of that lugging in equipment. Derek’s drums took the longest. I was happy that we were at least building a following. Honestly, not to sound like a dick, but we sounded better than Crashing Down. Jake had a better voice and a larger range than Dylan, and I was a way better bassist than Liam. We played to a full house and kicked ass. We sold out of our merch and thankfully the guys decided to take it easy tonight and just go back to the hotel, sans groupies.

  ~

  My heart was hammering in my chest as I pulled up to Rowan’s house. I pressed the doorbell and waited for her to answer. She opened the door in a pair of white, cut offs and a black tank top.

  “Blake.” She paused, looking at me for a minute before smiling. “What are you doing here? The show isn’t for another two days.”

  I handed her the bouquet of flowers that I picked up for her. “Dylan knew we were from Arizona and wanted us to have a day of downtime at home before the show.”

  She took them and gestured for me to come in. Her place was a mess, highly unlike her. I walked over and took a seat on the blue loveseat. She went into the kitchen and pulled out a pitcher to put the flowers in.

  “I made us reservations at The Melting Pot for seven.”

  Looking at the clock I saw panic flash across her face realizing she only had forty-five minutes, and it was a fifteen-minute drive. Running into her room, I heard her rummaging thro
ugh stuff, most likely looking for something to wear. She came out of her room ten minutes later in the dress that I bought her in Beverly Hills. She looked stunning.

  We arrived at The Melting Pot and ordered our food. I was feeling extremely anxious about what I was going to do. My foot was bouncing uncontrollably, my palms were sweaty, and the ring in my pocket felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. I had to borrow some money from Jake for it, but I didn’t want to wait any longer. Rowan was it for me…

  I stood up, and dropped to one knee.

  “Rowan Renee West, you are the most beautiful girl in the world to me. I know that the past couple months have been extremely difficult, but I want you to know that I love you and only you. Will you marry me?”

  I opened the lid and showed her the half-carat, solitaire diamond that I picked out. She was speechless and seemed to be studying it. She had a mask firmly in place showing no emotion at all. My anxiety was through the roof and continued to climb as each second ticked by. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she started laughing. It was a hyena like laugh.

  “Seriously?” She asked. I nodded, as if the ring would make it seem like a joke. “Blake, you’re an incredible guy, and you know I love you…I just can’t see us getting married. Not now anyway. We’re still young. Besides, what’s the rush?”

  Shot down!

  She ripped my heart out right before my eyes. I never in a million years thought that she would say no. I thought that girls dreamed about this kind of thing their entire lives and by the time we popped the question it was just a matter of finding the time and place. I closed the box and put it back in my pocket feeling dejected. Part of me wanted to go and toss it in the trash.

  Rowan and I sat and ate our fancy fondue. She was twirling her hair and avoiding eye contact while trying to make small talk as if that would make it less uncomfortable. The whole situation screamed humiliating. I wasn’t hearing anything she was saying. I only heard rejection.

  Once I paid the bill, I walked double time and helped her into my car. The short drive to her place seemed to last for an eternity as the city lights blurred by not nearly fast enough. When I pulled into her driveway, she looked at me expectantly.

  “Wanna come in for a bit?”

  Seriously? After what just happened she had the gall to ask something like that...

  “Actually I can’t. I promised my parents I would spend some time with them. Maybe tomorrow.”

  She leaned in and tried to initiate a make-out session, but for the first time since I met her I wasn’t feeling it. She took the hint when I pulled away and climbed out of the car. I sped home and headed straight to my room slamming the door in frustration.

  The next morning I got up and faced the day with a new outlook. I was done. I gave this girl everything I had, and she walked all over me. She didn’t think my music career was going to amount to anything. She wanted to know how I planned on supporting her when it failed and right now I don’t have an answer to that. I would have done whatever I had to so that she was taken care of and for her not to know that pissed me off.

  I needed to get out of Arizona and fast because my self-control when it came to her was non-existent.

  One Year Later…

  Battlescars just finished playing a set in downtown LA. We had a bunch of regular gigs lined up while we were in the studio recording our debut album. We managed to build up a super fan base over the past twelve months. I like to say that good boy Blake died that fateful day in Arizona and bad-boy Blake was born. I joined in on the promiscuous girls, and the drinking. We had a strict no drug policy, especially after what Jake experienced growing up, so I just stuck to friends, chicks, guitars and beers. My philosophy now is to live each day like it’s my last, but wear a condom and pay my bills just in case.

  I just met this smoking hot girl named Hayley after coming off the set. She was a petite brunette with the body of a swimsuit model. We were just stepping up to the bar when I saw a familiar face walking toward me. Rowan. She looked the same, flashing her bright white smile as she walked up to me.

  “Blake!” She threw her arms around my neck and pulled me into a hug. I reached an arm around and hugged her back halfheartedly. It was uncomfortable considering the last time I saw her was when she shot down my proposal. I pulled out of the embrace and looked apologetically at Hayley. There go my chances of getting laid tonight. She walked over to Jake instead who already had one on his lap. He was known to multi-task in the bedroom, and she obviously was privy to the fact by the look she was giving him right now. “It’s so good to see you.” Rowan said happily.

  I hated to admit it, but it was kind of good to see her too. I missed the familiar faces of home. She told me that she was in LA for the weekend visiting a friend that went to school here and saw that we were playing. I ordered my drink and went to take a seat at the bar. She followed me over and we got to talking. The next thing I knew we were in my apartment tearing each other’s clothes off and hopping into bed just like old times.

  She climbed on top of me and sank down before riding me like a bull. Dammit, if she didn’t still feel so fucking good. Even though, I’ve been having tons of sex lately, there was still something special between us. I reminded myself that this was strictly just no strings attached sex. I wasn’t in the mood to prolong it tonight, so I flipped her on her stomach sliding inside her with a quick thrust, pounding her relentlessly. As soon as I felt her come I blew my load and immediately kicked myself for not wearing a condom. Then again this was Rowan…

  “Thanks, Blake. I needed that.” She said collecting her clothes and heading for the door.

  “It was good seeing you too, Rowan.” I called after her.

  This time I just stayed in bed and lit up a cigarette.

  ~

  The thing between Rowan and I kept going on for years. We would go months without seeing one another, and then we would be in the same place at the same time and always ended up sleeping together. The last time I saw her was right before Jake and Aubrey’s wedding. I told her that I was done with our little thing and for once we didn’t end up sleeping together.

  She was indifferent about the whole thing, which was fine by me. I was done, again, but I swore to myself that it was over. It was that same weekend that I finally got a chance to get to know Piper. She was a fucking impressive chick. She was who she was, and she didn’t care what anyone thought about her.

  I had been secretly crushing on her since the show in Pittsburgh. I knew she had a boyfriend then though. I asked Aubrey, and she said that things between them were pretty on and off lately. I was hopeful that maybe we could finally have a fling. She was exactly what I was looking for.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Break Me

  Blake

  A mess of crimson hair was flowing in the breeze causing wisps to cascade around her porcelain face. She wasn’t my usual type, but still undoubtedly beautiful by any standard. I decided to play my luck as I approached her to come for a walk with me. She snuffed out her cigarette on the patio brick and shrugged her shoulders.

  “So how’ve you been?” I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.

  “Pretty nifty. I’ve been majorly busy at the shop lately, and Cole got back about a month ago. We’re already on hiatus because he can’t seem to get his shit together, and it’s going to make me go prematurely gray.” She huffed in exasperation.

  I knew Cole was her long time boyfriend and that he just got out of the Marines, but not much else. I wasn’t exceptionally adept at handling situations like this, so I just kept putting one foot in front of the other as we walked the property. She kept sneaking glances my way making me smile. With Piper what you saw was what you got, but she wasn’t the type of person to wear her heart on her sleeve. She was funny and laughed a lot. After the past couple days, I wanted to sink into her crazy laughter and set up shop.

  She was a total one eighty from the girls that I normally went after, but I was attracted to her like a bee to
honey. I liked skinny blondes and DD’s with extra filling. Piper’s hair was fire engine red, her boobs were a C cup, and that’s being generous, but she oozed sensuality. She was also a mystery.

  I knew she was a tattoo artist and that she was the one that did all of Aubrey’s tattoos. She also had quite a few that I could see peeking out around her tank top. She had angel’s wings on her shoulder blades and a sparrow on each collarbone. She smiled at me making the sunlight catch the gem in her Monroe piercing, distracting my thoughts.

  “What have you been up to? Get any new notches in your bedpost lately?” She ribbed.

  “Actually now that you bring it up, no I haven’t.” I winked. “I haven’t had much time.”

  “BLAKE!” I heard my name being yelled. I knew that it was Jake.

  Damn, cock blocker!

  We turned and started heading back to the house.

  Jake was standing on the patio when we got back cocking an eyebrow. Piper said hi and quickly excused herself closing the door behind her.

  “Whatcha doing?” He asked quizzically.

  “Nothing, we were just taking a walk.” I defended.

  “So there’s nothing going on with you guys?”

  “No, man. She’s hot, but I don’t think she sees me like that. Besides, she just broke up with her boyfriend, again.”

  “That’s right, I keep forgetting that Cole’s back. He was supposed to be coming, but she told him no after they ended things last week. I feel terrible for her dude, she’s going through a lot right now.”

  I was wondering what he meant by it, but pushed it aside because everyone came out to where we were talking to run through a quick rehearsal for tomorrow. Piper had on a jade colored dress that was fitted at the bust and flared at the waist paired with sky-high, silver heels. She looked so fuckable it was insane.