Afflicted Page 13

  CHAPTER NINE

  And I see all the lies to come…

  Piper

  Sitting stoic in the hospital room waiting for any kind of movement I looked at Cole’s bruised and battered body suppressing a wail. He looked as broken as I felt. Black eyes, bruised ribs, a concussion and swelling to the spine. They had to perform surgery to his hip putting in some pins and rods to fix where it was shattered. Judging from the x-rays and MRI’s they weren’t sure if he was going to be able to walk again. Even if he was, it was going to require extensive physical therapy.

  Forcing myself from picking up my phone and rereading the texts from last night, I pulled out my sketchbook and started drawing. Before long I looked down at what I drew absentmindedly. The couple I cast in perfect light, Blake and me. Slamming the book shut I stuffed it back in my purse as the tears I was holding back came to the surface.

  You’ve thrown us away. Goodbye, my love.

  That was the last text that I got from Blake. If I wasn’t feeling so vulnerable I would have sent him back something sarcastic, but I didn’t have it in me. Aubrey called to find out what was going on after getting a concerned call this morning from Blake. She was understandably angry with me for not calling, and for hurting Blake, but understood because of the history I had with Cole. After the nurse came in and said there was no change I decided to go home and freshen up.

  Hailing a cab in front of the hospital I gave him my address and sunk into the seat closing my eyes. When we came to a stop I reached into my bag to the small pouch that I kept my money in realizing there was a lot more money in here than I brought with me. Blake. I pulled out a fifty and tossed it into the front seat grabbing my bag and heading inside.

  As soon as I closed the door behind me I started sobbing. Not only was the place completely cleaned, but Blake had all new furniture delivered to replace what Cole destroyed. There was a small oak table with white chairs in the kitchen, a red sofa and ottoman in the living room, along with a bigger, better flat screen than the one I had mounted above the fireplace. A bouquet of flowers sat on the counter with a note attached.

  Welcome home, babe! I’m looking forward to breaking in the new bed…

  Love, Blake

  A new sob ripped through my chest as I set the note down and went to look in the bedroom. Sure enough there was a new queen sized bed, with a white quilt, a replica from the one at the cabin, covered in down pillows and high thread count sheets. There was a new espresso colored dresser and mirror on the far wall with an envelope sitting on top. Opening it up a gift card fell out.

  Pipe, I had Aubrey pick some stuff out for you, but in case you don’t like it return it and use the rest of the money to replace it with what you want. ~Blake

  The gift card was for $2,500, which was way more than I would ever be able to spend on myself, especially on clothes. Opening the drawers they were filled with everything from underwear and socks to tank tops and jeans. I grabbed my necklace and ran my fingers over it feeling the need to check my vital signs.

  I was still alive with only my shadow to walk beside me.

  Sitting on a silver tray was a slew of perfume bottles along with one lonely bottle of Chanel, the same kind that Blake wore. Taking the cap off I spritzed some on the bed and climbed in, closing my eyes dreaming of strong arms to hold me.

  Waking up, I was so warm that I felt like I had a fever. It felt so real I didn’t want to move. I felt like I couldn’t live without the warmth that encapsulated me. Feeling warm, salty tears streaming down my face I begged for it to be real. I’ve waited too long to give this up. Feeling lips press against my temple, searing like fire before disappearing leaving a chill in its wake. I opened my eyes to emptiness.

  Gasping for breath I walked into the bathroom splashing water on my face trying to cool myself down. Opening the shower doors and stepping inside I wrapped my arms around myself to try and calm the wracking of my body. I shampooed my hair and washed quickly before drying off with a towel and dressing in a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I grabbed my phone and keys, heading back to the hospital.

  My days were blending together. Cole’s bruises were starting to fade, but he still wasn’t waking up. I remained vigil at his bedside, ignoring phone calls and life in general. Aubrey stopped by twice to bring me food and a change of clothes, but not even she could cheer me up.

  “Well, someone’s acting like a cunt-a-saurus Rex this morning.” She teased. “Come on you need to get out of here for a little while.”

  “Do you think I made the right choice? Because it feels like everything’s falling apart.”

  “It’s too early to tell. Maybe this will be his wake up call.” She patted my back reassuringly.

  Watching him lay there I couldn’t help but get saddened about the bright future that he had thrown away, and for what? He had no money, no car, no job, nothing. He had nothing left except me, which was part of the reason that I felt such an obligation to help him get his life back on track.

  Alone in my thoughts was probably the worst place to be right now because unfortunately, my heart was ripped right down the middle.

  It had been a week since I talked to Blake. All I was left with was memories. His laugh, his dimples, his kisses, his passion were now all things of the past. I missed him and fought the constant urge to call him. He always made everything seem more bearable, but I needed to turn my focus to Cole and getting him better. They were working on detoxing him while he was in a coma, trying to give him non-addictive pain medicine hoping that when he woke up he would regain some of his old self. They had me meeting with an addiction specialist so I could learn how to help him overcome his problem. I’ve never felt so overwhelmed and alone.

  The stubble on his jaw line was prickly as I ran my hand over it soothingly. The weight loss over the past seven days was evident on both of us. I ran my fingers across his face hoping to bring comfort to him in some way. They said he might be able to hear me, so I talked to him, too. I talked about things we did when we were younger, our adventures, getting our first place, all the happy times we’ve had over the last eight years. His eyelids started to flutter, so I kept talking.

  After what felt like an eternity he turned to look at me, fighting to talk with the tube down his throat. I put my fingers to his lips telling him it was okay and that I was here. Pressing the call button for the nurses, I told them that he was awake.

  After coming in with the doctor and examining him they determined that he did have some feeling to his lower extremities and would need to start physical therapy as soon as possible. They removed the tube from his throat, but said that he was still on eating restrictions and to take it easy. Reaching over he took my hand weakly in his.

  “I can’t believe you’re here.” He croaked. “I dreamed that you were here, and you are.”

  “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” I lied, leaning in and kissing his forehead.

  Blake

  Pulling through another day post-Piper I was throwing all my frustration into the new album. At least one good thing was coming out of this disaster. Ever since, I got back to Ohio five days ago, I’ve pretty much been ignoring everyone, nursing the worse broken heart hangover, ever. She’s everywhere I look. Aubrey called Jake earlier and told him that Cole was awake. I didn’t want to, but I felt relief. I didn’t like the guy, and I certainly didn’t think that he deserved Piper, but if it’s what she wanted, and it obviously was, I’d never deny her.

  Rowan was texting me more frequently checking in, making sure that I was okay. I wanted to ignore her at first, but it was nice to feel loved, even if it was from my psychopath of an ex.

  I spent the day working myself into the ground, so I would hopefully be able to sleep tonight. Exhausted and sore, I climbed into bed and closed my eyes, hoping that tomorrow held more optimism.

  Finally after drifting asleep I heard ringing off in the distance. Reaching for my phone I put it to my ear.

  “Yeah?” I mumbled into the pi
llow.

  I heard shallow breathing on the other end. Pulling it from my ear and looking at the screen I saw it was Piper.

  “Babe, is everything alright?” I heard sniffling. “Why are you crying?”

  Sitting up and rubbing my eyes I waited for her to respond.

  “No.” She sobbed. “I was dreaming of you, and I just want it to be real again. Why can’t it be real, Blake?” Even crying it was good to hear her voice. I wanted to tell her that this was all her doing and that I’d take care of her. Hell, I’d even make sure that Cole was taken care of too, but she obviously wanted to do this on her own and wasn’t ready to let him go just yet. I was slowly learning to deal with that fact. I hated it, but it’s not like she gave me a choice.

  “Are you home?”

  “Yeah.” She whispered.

  Throwing on a pair of jeans I grabbed a sweatshirt and my keys heading downstairs. “I’ll be there in 10.”

  I disconnected the call and climbed into the car heading across town. I don’t know whether I’m a glutton for punishment or just a sucker, but as long as I got to hold her for the night I didn’t care either way.

  I haven’t slept for shit since I got home from Arizona since I was missing her. Pulling into her driveway I shut the car off and knocked on the door. It felt so strange being back at her place. She looked terrible. There was no vibrancy at all. Her eyes looked hollow and her face gaunt.

  As soon as I was in the door she threw her arms around me pulling me to her. Not knowing what to do, I patted her back trying to soothe the river that started flowing.

  Kicking my shoes off I picked her up and carried her to bed. Just holding her was comforting and breaking me at the same time. We wouldn’t be trying out the bed like I originally planned when I bought it. Nor would we be having breakfast at the table in the morning. Stripping down to my boxers I climbed into bed pulling her close to me, so we were face to face.

  I reached over to the night table and plugged in my iPod turning the volume on low. I made a list of songs that I’ve been listening to non-stop since she left. The first song to come on was Saving Abel’s, ‘18 Days’, which was basically about rearranging your life without someone important. Next was Skillet’s, ‘Say Goodbye’. It was depressingly fitting.

  Running my fingers through her hair I rememorized every angle of her perfect face, committing it to memory.

  “Blake.” She sobbed. “I can’t fall out of love with you, but I can’t leave Cole either.”

  “My heart beats for you. I’ll never ask for anyone but you, only you.” I whispered into her hair.

  Lifting her chin her soft lips met mine, slowly melding together. Wrapping my hand around the base of her neck I held her there, kissing her back lovingly. It was like a jumpstart to my heart. My broken heart lie beating behind my ribcage, fighting to come back to life. Trying to think of anything I could say to make her unconditionally mine, I came up empty.

  “Take me, Blake.” She rasped.

  God, why? Just hearing her say those words was like a shot of Viagra to my dick. No amount of cold showers could erase her from my memory. The way our bodies melded perfectly together.

  She was my weakness.

  My kryptonite.

  “Pipe, we can’t.”

  “Please.” She begged. “I need you. You’re the one that makes me whole.”

  Besides being past the point of bad for me, she made me whole too. Already hard against her thigh, I sat up pulling her to me. Chest to chest, I felt her heart pounding frantically against mine.

  Interlacing our fingers, I slipped inside her heat feeling tears burning my eyes for how much I loved her, and how much this was literally killing me. Kissing her softly, we moving rhythmically together as we made love.

  There was no denying that we fit perfectly together. I thought back to the sleepless nights at the cabin and how much everything’s changed since then. Looking in her eyes wrapped in each other’s arms I was home. I knew then that I would never feel this way about another girl.

  She had me at hello and ruined me as soon as she told me, “I love you” at the airport.

  I was teetering on the brink, holding strong not wanting it to end knowing that when it did everything was going to change again. She let go as tears streamed down her face, matching mine. Finding my release deep inside her I whispered against her lips. “I love you. I always will.”

  “I love you, too. I always will.”

  “If I was a mistake, I hope I was your favorite.” I said kissing her forehead.

  “You could never be a mistake, Blake. Never.”

  “It hurts knowing that I did my best, and I still wasn’t good enough.”

  “You were too good, that’s the problem. You don’t deserve someone with as many issues as me. I know that I can’t give myself to you a hundred percent and that’s not fair to you or me. I refuse to string you along, knowing that in the end it’s going to kill us both. I can’t.”

  “I’ll take you whatever way I can get you, but please don’t do this, Pipe. Every day is fucking black. You had your life, and I had mine, but you’re all I cared about.”

  I left out the part where she chased me down and broke me.

  “You’ll thank me one day.” She said lying on my chest right over my heart with me still inside her.

  I knew this was her way of saying goodbye.

  “I hope you’re always as happy like we were.”

  “Impossible.” She mumbled, closing her eyes.

  I didn’t want to go to sleep, but I knew if I didn’t who knows the next time I would. I closed my eyes and drifted off dreaming of a world where things like love last.

  Morning came way too soon. Somehow I managed to stay inside her all night, neither of us moved from where we fell asleep. I wanted to move since I was stiff, and I had to pee, but the urge to make love to her one last time trumped.

  Lifting her head she looked at me with a small smile playing on her lips pushing up on my chest and moving down onto me. Thrusting up I never wanted to be anywhere else, but I knew in a couple hours she would be back at the hospital with Cole and this would just be another mistake.

  After showering and saying our goodbyes I headed back to the house. Walking in the door Derek, Jake and Kevin were all sitting on the couch.

  “Hey, guys. What’s going on? Are you planning an intervention or something?”

  “Where have you been?” Derek teased pointing at his imaginary watch.

  “I was at Piper’s, why?”

  “Just curious since we were supposed to be recording this morning and you were nowhere to be found. You also didn’t answer your phone the twelve times that we tried calling. Did you at least get back together?”

  I shook my head no.

  “Did you at least get laid?”

  “Come on asshole, I’m not talking to you about that sort of stuff, it’s private.”

  “I’ll take that as a yesssssss.”

  “I think if you keep talking about Piper like that you’re going to be walking around sporting a pair of Irish sunglasses.” Jake told him.

  “Or a body cast.” I growled.

  “A pair of what?” Derek asked confused.

  “I think he means black eyes.” Kevin answered.

  “Ah, that’s funny.” He said clutching his stomach, laughing.

  “Jeez, name your price ‘cause I’ll pay anything just for you to shut the fuck up already.” I grumbled.

  Derek laughed harder, falling off the back of the couch.

  “Are you okay? Did you resolve anything?” Kevin asked concerned.

  “No. We’re not back together. She’s back at the hospital with Cole now. I think last night was more of a goodbye than anything. My brain is so fried I can’t even think.”

  “The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.” Kevin said.

  “Come on we’re going to Duke’s. I’m buying.” Jake proclaimed, standing up and heading to
the door.

  After going to Duke’s and drinking my weight in alcohol I stumbled into bed. Staring up at the ceiling my mind started wandering, and against my better judgment I picked up the phone.

  “Hello.” She breathed. I was just going to hang up, but hearing her breathing automatically brought me back to my drunken reality. “Blake, are you there?”

  “Uh-huh.” I slurred.

  Fuck, maybe calling her wasn’t such a brilliant idea after all.

  “It’s three in the morning. Are you drunk?” She asked, sniffling.

  I could tell that she was crying again. Knowing that something had her upset, and there was nothing I could do to comfort her tore me apart. Wishing I could make her hurt go away because sometimes you just feel too much. “Why are you crying, babe?”

  “I had a rough day. It’s just really good to hear your voice.”

  I wanted to tell her that I couldn’t fall asleep without hearing hers, but that would just make things worse, for both of us.

  “Sorry babe, hang in there. It will get easier for the both of us. Sweet dreams.”

  My head hit the pillow, and I passed the fuck out.

  CHAPTER TEN

  White Blank Page

  Two months later…

  Piper

  Thanksgiving passed, so did Christmas and New Years. I was back to working most days and helping Cole at night. With the help of his physical therapist and me he was almost back to normal. For the most part he was back to being old Cole too. He still had the occasional outburst, but nothing outlandish like before and since he couldn’t get around without some help he had no way of leaving for days at a time either. Today was a slow day and Josh just finished putting the final touches on my new tattoo. Taking a quick look in the mirror and wrapping it up we closed the shop and I headed home.