To Love a Soldier Read online

  The wounded, myself included, were taken out by helicopter. My hand and wrist were pretty banged up and I would need a number of surgeries, but they said, in time, I’d have full use again.

  That was the last I saw of John, until the close of the war. We kept in constant touch in letters and phone calls, though. I was discharged and returned home after recovering. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, but I took John’s advice and went into the police academy. I ended up getting a job as a town cop for the same town where I grew up. It was a little weird, but I truly enjoyed it. I kept in touch with John and also Sargent Thompson over the years. I always had them in the back of my mind, because they both stayed together and continued to serve in different places, never seeing an end to the combat.

  John saved my life in more than one way. Physically, yes, I’d be dead now if John Kane wasn’t such a selfless and brave man, but he saved me in other ways. I lost my way for a while when I returned stateside and it was John, with the help of his mother, who had helped me through and steered me into turning my life around. I owed John everything. I knew John was holding the war inside him. What he’d seen, what he’d done, whom he couldn’t save. We all had the same thoughts in our heads, but John was there to help carry them for us. I would do anything for him, and his family.

  Chapter Seventeen

  One Last Night

  Mandy

  After a long night and a tearful goodbye from his mom, John and I finally arrived back at my place. He had been quiet on the ride back and I could tell he was depressed. I knew it broke his heart to hurt his mother, to see her fall apart each time he had to leave; it broke my heart just to watch it unfold.

  We went inside and cleaned up before bed. It was late, but I didn’t want my time with him to end. He climbed into my bed with his laptop and checked his email. Taking a seat next to him¸ I felt my heart breaking.

  “I’m going to miss you,” I said honestly. He had become a permanent fixture pretty much since he arrived in town and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a say. “You okay? It has to be hard to say goodbye to your Mom.”

  Leaning over, he kissed the top of my head. “It doesn’t get any easier, but either does life. We have a choice to make, you have a choice whether you sink or swim. I know that I put my life on the line doing what I do, but I love it and I’m good at it. I don’t really want to talk about it and ruin our last night.”

  Knowing the time for talking was done, I went back to the bathroom to slip on some sexy lingerie for him, choosing what he picked out at the mall on our first date. I slowly opened the door and put my arm up against the frame.

  “You’re going to shoot me with that big cannon before you go to sleep, soldier,” I said, trying to be sexy and funny at the same time. I waltzed to the bedside and began to tease him. His laptop slid out of his hands and onto the floor. He didn’t acknowledge it as it crashed to the floor; he couldn’t take his eyes off me. I looked down to see his boxers turn into a pitched tent.

  “That for me?” I winked and smiled as I pointed to his erection.

  “Yup.” He smiled back. “And only for you.”

  He grabbed my wrist and pulled me on top of him. He thrust his tongue between my lips and I eagerly opened them. I met his tongue with mine and then gently bit his bottom lip, occasionally sucking it between mine. He slowly slipped my lingerie off to find me panty-less. He began to rub my clit with a strong finger. Reaching down, I tugged off his boxer shorts and stroked him. I lifted a leg and straddled him, lowering myself onto his thick shaft. His head fell back and a moan slipped past his lips.

  I leaned forward, and he took a breast in his mouth. Sliding all the way down, I began to grind. He kept my breast in his mouth and began to twirl his tongue around my nipple. I was already going to come. Digging my nails into his forearms, “fuck me harder.” I pleaded.

  Grabbing a hold of my hips, he thrust deep and hard. My orgasm grew in intensity, and I let out a scream of pleasure when it finally came. He rolled me off him and climbed between my spread legs, never leaving my wetness. Pulling my legs up, I held them high in the air, letting him use my body for his pleasure. I watched as he slid in and out of my heat, my orgasm glistening on his perfect shaft. He continued to pound feverishly, giving me multiple orgasms in the process until I felt him thicken and pulsate inside me with a low growl. A few more thrusts and he gently pulled out and rolled off to my side.

  After we caught our breath, we both realized how tired we were. He kissed my hair and pulled me close. We drifted off skin to skin for what would be the last time for a long time.

  The next morning, I woke to the sound of my alarm clock. I quickly hit the snooze button to shut it the hell up, before fumbling to shut it off. Rolling back over, I was shocked to see that John was actually still sleeping. I got out of bed and quietly hopped into the shower. I wanted to get ready and make him breakfast before we had to leave for the airport. My stomach was completely in knots and my nerves were already shot.

  I started to feel sick as I was washing my hair and threw up at my feet. Oh no, this can’t be happening. I can’t get sick on the day he goes back! I took a few deep breaths and finished washing the shampoo out of my hair. I started to feel better and quickly finished cleaning off.

  Peeking out into the bedroom while I was drying off, I made sure not to wake John. I tossed on some comfy clothes and headed downstairs to start breakfast. I got a pot of coffee started and began whipping up some pancakes and bacon. The smell of bacon overpowered the house and I soon heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I rushed to finish getting everything set up.

  “Good morning, EC,” John said, rubbing his eyes.

  “Dammit, John. Don’t call me that,” I demanded, trying to suppress a smile. I hated to admit it, but his little nickname was sort of growing on me. I would miss it when he wasn’t here.

  “Sorry, sexy,” he laughed. “You’re making breakfast?”

  “All for you, handsome.” I patted butter on the pancakes and handed them to him. “Let me get you the syrup.”

  “You’re the best!” he said, already stuffing bacon in his mouth. Using his free hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and started scanning. A song started playing. “It’s called ‘Find Me’ by Boyce Avenue. I hope you know wherever I am, I’m always with you. Always, EC.”

  Tears started to form in my eyes as I listened to the lyrics. I could tell exactly what he was trying to convey. The song said everything he couldn’t. Not wanting to fall apart just yet, I was saved when I heard a knock at the front door. I had known Liz would show up early and I was happy to share our man. I yelled in the direction of the door, “Come in!” Getting the syrup, I sat down with John at the table.

  “I’m really going to miss you,” I said, frowning.

  “I have two months and I’ll be done with my tour.” He smiled. “I decided to end it there.”

  “Are you serious?!” Liz asked as she entered the room.

  “Hundred percent, sis.” He stood up and hugged her. “I love what I do more than anything… anything, except you guys.”

  I jumped out of my seat and hugged them both. “Group hug!” I yelled as Liz and I jumped up and down, hugging John.

  “Why didn’t you tell Mom?” Liz asked.

  “Because I’ve been struggling with the idea for the last week,” he answered, turning towards me. “And when I woke up this morning in Mandy’s bed, I realized this is unquestionably where I want to be. I’m tired. Tired of all the death. Tired of witnessing horrible things and having to repress them and push on.”

  “I’m sorry,” Liz said, hugging him again.

  “I’ve done my part. I served my country and I did what I had to do. I’ve saved lives, and I’ve taken lives from those who wanted to take mine. I’ve come to terms with all of that, but I’m ready to start a new chapter. Right here.”

  “We’re proud of you, John,” I told him. “Your father would be p
roud of the man you are, too.”

  Liz let a tear roll down her cheek, as she shook her head, affirming my statement.

  “I’m putting in my request for discharge with my CO when I get back,” John explained.

  I was a taken aback by his decision. Military life was in his blood and, from our countless conversations about all things military, I was certain it was his calling and it made him happy. Maybe it was a little selfish, but it was still great news to me. I wanted to start a life with John. I wanted it to include him being around for more than a few weeks out of the year. I wasn’t one to rush things, but I had already decided that I wanted him to live with me when he came home. I was going to extend the offer, but I knew Liz and Lisa would be friendly competition since John was such a family man… not to mention a mama’s boy.

  “Since you don’t have a room anymore at her place,” I nodded my head towards Liz, “I think you should come live with me when you get back.”

  “You’re such a home wrecker!” Liz shouted teasingly. “We can clear out his old room for him.”

  “No thanks, Liz,” John teased back. “You two are cock blockers and I don’t need that.”

  “Ewww! That’s so gross,” she yelled, smacking John in the arm.

  He stepped forward and grabbed my hand and held it in his. “EC, I would really like that. I don’t have much, so I wouldn’t be getting in the way of your decorating style. All I would ask is that you let me buy you a bigger TV and then let me put my Xbox with it.” He smiled and shot me a set of puppy dog eyes.

  “You don’t need to buy me anything, handsome.” I got on my tippy toes and planted a kiss on his lips. “And of course you can bring or get whatever you want. Mi casa es su casa.”

  “You two are sickening,” Liz chimed in. “By the way, what the hell is EC?”

  “It’s eye candy, darling,” I smugly stated. “Remember? You gave me that name.”

  “Sickening.” She laughed. “Come on, Prince Charming, it isn’t move in day. You’re going to miss your flight if we don’t get a move on.”

  “I only took one bite of my pancakes.” John pouted. “I’m not leaving until I finish them.” He sat back down at the table and started scarfing them down. I ran upstairs to finish packing his duffel bag for him and quickly wrote him a note to surprise him when he unpacked back at his base.

  John,

  I have to start by saying that I’m going to miss you more than you could even imagine. I feel so blessed that our paths crossed and I’m so thankful that I had to courage to, well, hit on you the minute I saw you in that hospital room. (I only wish the circumstances could have been better.) You are such a wonderful person and a great man. Whether it is with me or someone else, I think you would make a fantastic father someday. (No, I’m not trying to trick you or anything, especially because I’m not ready for kids for many years to come, but I just wanted you to know.) You are honest, caring, gentle, understanding, and patient. Hell, I could keep going, but you get the point. I can’t wait until you come home for good. I’m looking forward to starting our next chapter together and I hope that I can remain in your story until the end. I adore you and your entire family.

  Please, please be safe over there and know that my heart is with you wherever you go. I believe in you and, when you come home, you can tell me everything. All your stories, all your struggles, and those of the others you’ve mentioned. I want to take your burden for you and carry it, so you’re not alone.

  I took a selfie for you the other day and I’m putting in here. I want you to look at me when you feel weakened or bothered by anything. Look into my eyes and just know that I am here for you. I would’ve taken a sexier one, too, but I didn’t want you showing all your buddies… Oh, and I got on your cell while you were sleeping - hope you don’t mind - and added my Skype username to your contact info. I also deleted some bitch named “hotNjuicy”… I mean, really? I won’t ask anything and will just hope she won’t show back up. (Insert eye roll.) You can call or Skype me anytime whatsoever, John, and I will be there. I look forward to the future of us. I’ll be dreaming of you every night, soldier.

  Stay safe and dream of me, because if you do, we’ll always be together in those dreams and whenever you’re lonely look up at the stars and know I’ll be under the same sky.

  Love you eternally,

  EC

  Folding the note, I slipped my picture into it. A few tears escaped while I was writing. I stuffed the note into the bag and ran to the bathroom to splash cold water on my eyes. I knew I’d cry dropping him off at the airport, but I didn’t need my eyes puffy all morning until then. I quickly reapplied some eyeliner and made my way back down with his bag. Dropping it by the front door, I turned to go back to the kitchen. Liz had done the dishes for me, and they were both ready to leave.

  We all grabbed our jackets, while looking somberly at each other. This fucking sucks. I opened the door and held it for John and Liz. She walked out first and he followed, but not before smacking me in the ass and whispering, Enjoy the peace and quiet before I get back, EC, because your life is going to change.

  “You’re such a douche!” I joked and pushed him out the front door.

  We all piled into Liz’s car. Of course, I had the backseat again, but at least I wouldn’t need to change on the fly. It was late morning, so the traffic was light. We needed to go to the Port Columbus airport, since it was easier for him to catch a connecting flight. The drive wouldn’t take long at all.

  There wasn’t much talking, so Liz turned the radio on to kill the silence. I reached my hands forward and started rubbing John’s shoulders. He brought his hands back and placed them on mine, gently rubbing the tops of my hands. I’m going to miss his touch. We continued for another minute or so before Liz turned the radio down.

  “Okay, first off, you two, gross,” she said. “Second, John do you have any idea where they’re going to send you now?”

  “They’re going to send me back to my unit, wherever they are now.”

  “That was helpful,” I said.

  “It’s the norm,” he explained. “You don’t usually know until you’re either on your way, or already there. Even then, sometimes you don’t know where you are.”

  “Mandy, we should just kidnap this big fucker and never let him go back,” Liz joked.

  “I would, but he’s not exactly easy to hide.”

  Liz got off the interstate and followed the signs for the airport. As I watched the miles on the signs get lower and lower, a lump built in my throat. I wasn’t normally so emotional, so I didn’t know what was going on with me. I tried holding it back, but I just couldn’t. I burst out into tears and hugged John over the headrest.

  “Aw, Mandy,” Liz said first, “I’m sorry you’re upset, but can you please not scare the shit out of me with your meltdowns while I’m trying to drive. Though, I’m sure a broken bone or two would buy you a few more weeks.”

  John unbuckled his seatbelt and did his best to turn around to console me. “Babe, I won’t be gone long. It’ll go quick. Don’t worry.”

  “I know,” I got out before choking up again. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m tougher than this.” Before I could say anything else, we were pulling up to the airport drop-off.

  “You have an hour to get through security, so you should be good,” Liz told John.

  We all got out of the car. John grabbed his duffle bag and gave his sister a long hug. When he pulled away, there were tears streaming down her face.

  “Shut up,” she said to me, wiping her eyes. “It was my turn.”

  John laughed and kept his smile as he walked to me. He’s leaving. He’s really leaving.

  “I love you, Mandy. The past six weeks have felt like minutes and I can’t wait for an eternity.” He stared into my eyes, which were welling up with tears. “I’ll be coming home to you soon. Don’t worry.”

  “I love you too, John. So much!” I pulled him into me and hugged him as hard as I could. I held on
and squeezed as tight as possible, hoping somehow, he wouldn’t be able to pull away. He stayed in my hold only momentarily before wrapping his muscular arms entirely around my entire torso. I felt like I was being crushed, but I loved every second of it. I felt my pain surfacing again and let go into his chest. He took one arm out of the hug and gently rubbed the top of my head.

  “It’s gonna be okay,” he said, calmly. “Just think, soon you’ll be wishing I was gone.” He let out a small laugh and I could tell he was trying really hard to hold it together, too.

  “Don’t say that,” I muddled between gasping for air.

  “John, you need to go,” Liz gently reminded him.

  He nodded, acknowledging her and slowly separating our bodies. I fought to stop him, but it was useless. He wiped the tears from under my eyes with his thumb and told me he loved me one more time. He kissed me softly, jerked his duffle bag over his shoulder, and went back to Liz. After giving her one more hug, he walked into the terminal without looking back.

  “I’ve never actually seen John cry before. Ever,” Liz said.

  I hadn’t noticed. I could barely see straight with blurry, tear-filled eyes. I pulled Liz in for a hug. We must have looked like idiots, standing there for about five minutes and crying on each other’s shoulders, before both getting in the same car and driving away.

  “Can you hang out tonight?” I asked her. I didn’t want to be alone.

  “Of course,” she said, putting her hand on my knee. “Do you care if Brady comes over, too?”

  “That’s fine. I’ll order take-out or something. I just don’t want to be alone.”

  “Believe me.” She rubbed my knee some more. “I get it.”

  We drove straight back to my house from the airport. I was sitting in the front and could smell John the whole ride back. It was driving me nuts.